Shower or Not to Shower.......

So, my mom and I were at Le' Target this past Saturday night (first time in a while she and I have done anything together with the family, much less JUST us) and somehow we got on the subject of martini shakers! She brought up the fact that my best friend got one 5 years ago when she got married and 1)it has never been taken out of the box, 2) we couldn't get the lid off of the shaker, 3) it's crystal. We tried to use it and couldn't get the little lid off of the place you pour from!!! So, the question was WHY get one that you CAN'T use?? My reply was that she probably put it on her "wish list" at some store and someone actually got it for her. With a little more thought, I told her that IF I EVER contemplate marriage and do the little "wedding registry" thing, that I would put some COOL USEFUL things on there!! Maybe a Martini shaker that lights up when you use it or plays a song or something!! Not a crystal one!! I am not the "crystal" type!!! I like nice things, but tend to be a little more practical (thanks to my mother).

Then........it got deep and sad. We went from talking about useless martini shakers to her saying "I never had a wedding shower". What do you say?? Yes, I realize that she got "knocked up" with me and got married at the Justice of the Peace to a guy my biological grandmother DISliked, but every girl that gets married should be bombarded with material things that she may need or just fun little gadgets she may not need. It's like a rite of passage to marriage to have showers. Hell, it's almost worth getting married to get one of those Kitchen Aid Standing Mixers!!! ( I would get a red one!! With the attachments to make my own pasta - not that i know how to make pasta or that I actually cook, but Jay does ;-).

My parents have been married 30 years as of July 30th. She never had a shower. She was never given her earned and deserved useless gifts. How sad is that?? From the very beginning of the marriage she was missing something. Something that I don't think she has ever found.

So my question today is this.........Is it too late to shower her??? Are there people out there that would understand and participate? Would she let me throw her a shower?? Would she laugh hysterically? Would it make her feel good??

I want to be showered. I want people to appreciate me being the center of attention for one day. I want to feel special, receiving gifts that will probably be returned in 5 days......doesn't everyone? Doesn't she deserve that?? The saddest part is...I don't think she thinks she deserves it............

By the way - my friend with the useless martini shaker.........she got divorced in April.......

How did I get here???

Do you ever wonder how you got to where you are RIGHT NOW??? I have been wondering that lately. To catch up, Jay has moved 3 doors down from me :-) and continues to work offshore! It is taking some getting used to.......we've lived at least 2.5 hours away from each other for the past 3 years! We've gotten really good at being apart........so, it is different, but getting better!

My best friend and her 3 year old have moved in with me, temporarily. Quite stressful. She is a beautiful child, but does NOT mind. It is so hard for me to like her right now. I do love her, but liking her, not so sure! I'm not even sure her mom likes her right now!! I hate not being able to be the "fun Aunt" who takes her to McDonald's or the zoo....THEN take her home! I feel for my friend. She never planned on being a single parent. It is hard for her, but she is doing well. They will be moving Sept 8th. I'm sure I will miss them!

Family: CRAZY!!!!! But anyone who knows me, knows that!
*Dad - trying to be a better dad/husband......he still messes up, he still flies off the handle, he still expects too much and he still tries to live vicariously through his son. Sad story, yes!
*Mom - still drinks, still only talks to dad about sports related to son or irresponsible middle child.......or lack of money......or his inadequacies.
*Sister - has officially graduated high school. Will be attending junior college, beginning tomorrow!! She has ALOT to learn. Not from books, from life! First and foremost, life does not revolve around her and her social life! Other things are going on!! I know this lesson will be a hard one for her and I hate she has to endure it, but she needs it! I wish her the best! I hope she does extremely well in her studies!! We have gotten closer...and I am glad!!
*Brother - God love him. He has never asked to be the "golden child". He is much more levelheaded and conservative than the sister, but the parents (and myself, to some extent) see him as golden. I don't think that I do it for the same reasons as the parents....I think I do it because he is not only my brother, but he is my friend. He is not as emotional as the sister. He is not as needy as the sister.......God, I hope she never reads this....it could send her over the edge! Anyway - he is beginning his sophomore year, will be the starting tightend for the home team and will be making advances in the world of relationships soon, I am sure. :-(.....

It is sad now that I think about my question..... I know how I got here. But do I like it?? I miss my big city life. I miss not having to WORRY all the time about family stuff! Then I feel guilty for saying that! Guilt - sometimes I think it controls my life........It is the reason I do so many things that I do. When I should be doing them because I want to....or I need to ! Not because I feel guilty if I don't do it. I felt guilt in the big city...guilt for not being here to help take care of the brother and sister when the parents got on them. Guilty for not being at the important (or slightly important) events in their lives. Guilty for not wanting to listen to my mom confide in me her secrets and her hurts, now she is numb.

I don't know........I need to ponder this a bit more......Pray for me!! Offer advice!!!