Change...

So.. it's been since February that I blogged..

so much has happened.. life has just moved on...

Baseball season was GREAT... we did well, made it to the 1st round of playoffs.. went to VanCleave for the second game and lost.. I will never forget that text.. the one on the way home from the bus carrying our BRAVES.. "I never thought it would hurt this bad." What do you say? The world is their oyster but the thought of all they have ever known coming to an end.. what do you say? (I wish someone would tell me for personal reasons right about now...) Prom, Class night, Graduation.. all came and went.. I was SO busy doing SO much during this time.. I might have neglected many things in my personal life while being so busy.

Graduation on the 21st of May..

Sister had to be on the "Mountain" by Saturday the 23rd.. I am SO very proud of her for making the decision and sacrifices to go and spend a whole summer serving on that mountain. She went up there all by herself not having a clue as to what to expect.. And it was not easy. it turned out that working with the campers was a whole lot easier than working with her fellow staffers. What incredible life lessons she learned. It was so hard to go to the mountain with our church and NOT be going to the same camp she was at.. and worse than that.. she had campers that week and was unable to come visit us at our camp. We were able to see her our first night and I just couldn't hug her enough! Then I was able to sneak away on Wednesday night and go to her camp for dinner and worship. Seeing her with her campers and staff... she was awesome.. she was at her best. She always strives to see the best in people and always gives second chances. She forgives so easily. Qualities that I struggle with often. Proud is not even a smidge of how I feel about her!!

As sister was arriving at camp on the 23rd, Dad, Tyler and I set out on our 5 day Senior trip cruise with a group of friends. I was not looking forward to this trip.. What am I going to do with a bunch of 40+ and 19 & unders?? it was beautiful.. we went to Nassau.. spent 8 hours there.. glad to say i have been there, but... it was time to come home..

Arrived home on the 28th, 11am'ish.. I had done some thinking about me and jay on the cruise.. I had made the decision that "if" he were still there when i returned that I was really going to put some time and energy into whatever may be left of our relationship.. He stood so patiently and tolerated so much during that Spring. He was way farther back than "back-burner".. He got home an hour or so after me and there it was.. It just wasnt' working. I knew it, had known it for a while.. he had known it too.. we were just too comfortable to do anything about it. But, i had chosen something/someone/anything else over him just one too many times. I don't blame him. People need attention and affection and need to feel important.. I had not made him feel that way in quite some time. So, he moved out. I went straight back to work with about 24 hrs to absorb and deal with what just happened.. it was hard. Not because I thought it was the wrong decision, but the end of an 8 year relationship... friendship.. It is still very hard to deal with. We have become friends again and I am very thankful for that.

I have been trying to get out and about and do new things and meet new people. A new, unexpected friend came into my life and I am thankful for that. But the friendship is definitely a challenge for me. This friend is so very different than any other I have.. so i am having some life lesson moments.

I am not looking forward to the holidays at all.. (which is SO unlike me)... I have been having many pity parties lately! ha! 32 and single.. things could be worse, i am well-aware! It's just not where I thought I would be.. although most people do say that when they go through major life changes. I keep telling myself that in these harder times is when we become stronger.. Myself is tired of hearing that!! haha!

So, there ya go.. It's me, Harvey and the 4 cats.. maybe that is how it was meant to be..