Katrina's love child........Gustav....

Very little to say about this....except that I am NOT excited.. Please note that I was in Houston, TX when the above storm took out the cute little state I call home and the city the I love.... Now... why... this soon would another storm be threatening us?? I HATE bad weather.. HATE it.. Anyone that knows me, knows that I have physiological signs of anxiety (you know what I mean) when bad weather is upon us or threatening us. Everyone says.."don't worry about things you cannot control.." WTF?? How can I just NOT worry about it.. I have to anticipate the worse case scenario... I have to plan for myself, my kids (animals) and loved ones.. And to make it worse I am working Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday... So I will be stranded in Jackson.. Some would say, "but you will be safer there and that should make you feel better".. NO.. I will be by myself... And I don't think anyone up here truly understands my anxiety with the weather... OH - did I mention that I am charge nurse Monday night... Who in their right mind would put me in charge the night that the damn thing is supposed to hit....???

Ok.. I apologize for my ramblings and psychoses.... Forgive me..

God Bless the Hispanic people and BRING BACK MICASITAS!!!

Goooooooo BRAVES!!!!!!

Well, the season that they call Football, is upon us. The sport that I really don't care too much about.

#1... I don't like Tyler playing especially after he was carried off the field in an ambulance 2 years ago with a possible head injury

#2... I don't UNDERSTAND the game... at all...

#3... The weather in South Mississippi does not lend itself to allowing me to drink hot chocolate under a blanket at a game.. (but baseball season does...how backwards is that?????)

But, it is here and I will be there. Confused. Worried.. Hopeful... Grateful...

Watching him last night after the game.. (it was just a 2 quarter preview of the team and they played Poplarville)... he was SO excited and happy to just be on the field. To have on that jersey. To be with his friends.. And that is the most important thing to me. Because that means that he is making memories! Wherever the future may lead him in sports (or not lead him) he will have some REALLY incredible memories with some pretty great friends! That is what it is all about, because you cannot go back and pick up memories from high school. You take what you get. Nothing more, nothing less. Just hold on to them.. That is why I try to take so many pictures.. Something to help trigger your memort 10 - 15 - 20 years from now... I know me and my camera may aggravate you... but just bear with me! I do it because I love you!!!

Full of Guilt................

Well, baby sister is off and gone to Ole Miss.. She left on Tuesday and so far all I hear is that she LOVES it but she is bored!! Which is just about par for the course! The boredom will pass as soon as school starts I am sure! There will be NO time to be bored then! haha!

I sit back and observe the family river (bro j refers life to a river with currents that pull us in different directions and stuff.. so I am borrowing that term from him!). So, as I observe the current that the family is now in, I reflect back on when I moved to Ole Miss...my friends moved me, into the DORMS as a Junior, to the dorms....the family came to visit for a few ball games... that was about it. I think they paid my cell phone bill and sent me a little $, but I had a daily job at the Kids College after school day care program. Now, back to 2008.... how things have changed. You get a big nice apartment, new furniture and stuff, all kinds of new stuff and a nice weekly stipend. Yes.... I am degrading myself down to jealous sibling. Which I guess I have always been. She is a money pit... and it was constantly thrown into my face that they were paying for my "wasted" college loan money... which I pay now. So, those years of $100/month they paid make up for all they have put out on her... I DO understand that they are at a better financial place now than they were then. I DO want her to be more successful than I was at Ole Miss, and she will be. Maybe it is my fault. Maybe I should have needed more or wanted more. I want a bicycle too...........

But, after having said all of this... I want her to do very well and not have to want or need for anything. Hell, I have helped create this Money Monster... So, I guess I cannot say anything... She is a great kid! Just a little oblivious as to where money comes from and how fast it goes away............

Fabulous Fall Five

So, I am thinking.... this weekend.. Fairly uneventful..WHICH WAS GOOD after my week.... It was busy tho...

This is THE weekend before baby sister moves to Big College (aka Ole Miss)... So... It was alot about her.. for good reason. Although alot of things seem to be about her, contrary to what she thinks!

Friday... after much debate and discussion we went to MiCasita's to eat, we being: mom, dad, tyler, morgan, me, kim and lisa. Kim, BLESS HER HEART, has tried for months..if not a year to get mom and dad to go and try sushi. They don't even have to eat sushi...get some shrimp tempura??? But Oh Hell NO....we can't do anything new or different! So. Mexican it was.

Saturday... Kim and I went to the Burg and ate our sushi with Krissy and Madison. The child needs to be beat more. She is a VERY sweet little girl. But, she is sassy and back talks her mother... Granted, she is 5. I still think she should be beat more. I am really hoping that her starting Kindergarten at Oak Grove will help her and provide her with some MUCH needed structure. So, after Sushi... we went to Serenity Day Spa, where I used part of my anniversary gift to get my feet done up!! While there, ran into several people I know, which was weird. Even met someone that I have heard SO much about but have never met, Mrs Paige (with wings attached! ;-) Then came home and finished up my "special gift" for Kim. It is AWESOME!! She will LOVE it!!! I know this because she treasures hand made gifts, especially when they include pics of herself and others she loves!!

Sunday... The Fabulous Fall Five loaded up the Lincoln and drove to the Red Stick. Yep, we ventured to go visit Uncle Joe. They took him off of the ventilator and he was breathing on his own. So, we get there... visit with him briefly, he could talk in segments and was visibly exhausted. Then we visited with long lost Uncle David, Kathy and Jared, brief again, because they left soon after the 1pm ICU visit. Then some of my FAVORITE Fall-sided family members went to eat! I don't see enough of them. They are really great and it is so funny to look at Michelle and see that we are alot alike! She is awesome and to hear Tyler say, "Yeah.. she is cool.. I can see her being the cool big sister..." makes my heart smile! We should definitely visit more often!

Uncle Joe and Aunt Donna are so much more to our family than they probably realize. Well, at least to dad. Other than Granny, they were his parent figures. Not too shabby ones either! I remember when Granny died. Aunt Donna came up to be a support for dad. She said, "That lady was like a mother to your daddy and I am going to be right here when he needs me.". How awesome is that! How sad is it that I only have a few of those sweet moments as memories? But, life is short. Especially on the Fall side. I am glad that dad tries to take care of himself, he stays busy/active, he takes his blood pressure meds, he keeps his kidneys flushed (haha) and he doesn't smoke! So, maybe he will beat the odds. I worry about the others.....

Well.. it is Sunday night and it has been a busy weekend... But I thoroughly enjoyed sleeping in the back seat today with my baby bro in between me and sister. I think mom and dad should be really proud and happy that we are as cool as we are! They did pretty good.. I am proud of them, anyway!!!

So, my Jay will be home tomorrow and I am hoping for Sushi tomorrow night for Kim's "last supper"..... when I give the special gift to her!!!

So long to the Comfort Inn.....

So.. yeah... This is a pic of the hotel I USED to sleep in while I worked.. Yes.. those are SWAT team members.. Yes.. those are LARGE guns they are carrying... YES there was a standoff!

So, some of "Patricia's People" (aka known as African Americans, but here at the hospital we refer to them as "her people" or "my people" in a very humorous way!)....anyway - some of "her people" decided to rob the nearby IHOP (that I used to eat at), come to MY hotel, get a room and hide out. WTF??? So.. the story goes...

I got off of work this morning, went to the room, took my 75mg of Benadryl (I am off of the ambien), got a shower and was asleep by 745. I wake up at 330'ish with something sounding like someone slamming a room door or breaking a room door down...(it was the latter). All happening next door to me. Then I hear people running (easily could be kids running around)... So, no worries, I get up go pee and get back in bed. Then I check my phone to see what time it is and Ms. Pat has called me and left a voicemail. She KNOWS that I sleep until 5pm.. so, I think "something could be wrong....". I check my voicemail and it is her saying, "Kristy, sweetie... this is Ms. Pat.. you need to get up, your hotel is on the news and it is surrounded by cops and stuff.. Something is going on, get up and let me know you are ok...!" Holy Shit.... So I call her and she proceeds to tell me that my hotel is on live T.V. in a standoff... I call the front desk and ask, "This is Kristy in 202. Am I ok??".. the reply.."well...hmmmm.....yeah...." Not very reassuring. So, I try to call Jay to talk to him and figure out what i should do.. no answer.. So I call mom.. I really did not want to call her because she would worry.. but, I needed someone to talk to. So, while on the phone with her I look outside.... there are officers in black bullet proof vests that say, SWAT, SHERIFFS DEPT and JPD... there are 4 news crews LIVE, at least 2 ambulances....and me.. standing there looking out the window in my panties and t-shirt. If ever there was a time to "put some clothes and my shoes on" it was now... (my dad always made us do that in bad weather and I still do it!!!).. Never Have I EVER!! so, I sit there on my bed....on the phone with my mom.... and wait...

I go look out the window again..... it looks as though they are clearing out.. so I call the front desk and she tells me that they got the one guy and the other got away... GREAT!! So.. I get my ass up, get dressed and promptly check out of the hotel with no plans to return! EVER! That was enough of South Ghetto for me.

I have been here for almost a year (sept 10) and have not once felt uneasy.. But, today.. It did me in. I am going to Cheryl's today.. Don't know about after that. My contract ends sept 20. So, not too many more nights to work. But, I will definitely will not be returning to the most comfortable Comfort Inn on Greenway Drive.

So long Ms. Kathy and Jeff. It was nice doing business with you!!!

Fish Phelps, anyone???

This guy is a BEAST in the water.....OMG!!!!!!!!! And he tries to eat between 8 and 10 THOUSAND calories per day.... WTF????????

Caving?????

So.... I went to Mtn TOP closing this past weekend with my sister... Closing is really more of a family thing, meaning, it is for the families of the staffers to come and learn a little bit about what their kids have done this summer.. Saturday is a day for the staffers to take their families out into the county to visit families they have worked with, sightseeing, shopping and that sort of thing. I went there knowing that one of the staff members from our week on the mountain did not have any family coming. So, of course Kim and I being Kim and I, adopted him. Which was good for us, it gave us someone to hang out with all day Saturday. Thomas is our adopted brothers name... He had chatted with us on facebook and told us how EXCITED he was that we were coming up and how he had plans for our Saturday... we would go "caving, swimming in a water fall, visit some families....".. I was like "Yeah...sounds good........."........

I don't know if you know anything about caving or not.. but, honestly.. I did not. I think I was expecting to walk into this big, dark hole in the side of a mountain on level ground, look around at some cool rock formations and stuff... If that is what you thought also...WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! Let me tell you... 1. It is DARK. And the little light on your forehead only shines where your head points...which for me was straight DOWN. 2. You are ROCK CLIMBING on the ground...NO SHIT... every step you take you have to think about and balance on...with your little dimly lit light....oh and if you actually step WELL and the rock does not weeble and wobble with you...you have to make sure your foot doesn't SLIDE down the rock... 3. You are sliding down boulders...without knowing how you are going to get your FAT, OUT OF SHAPE, OLD ASS back up the boulder.... 4. Then there is always the worry about whether or not you are going to be the group that wanders up on some serial killer trying to hide a body or something... but I was going to do it because I am not going to be "that girl"... that wuss.... that old fogey.. that fat girl that couldn't make it..... HELL or high water, I was doing it!

Summing that up... I "caved" into a cave 1.5 miles, to a water fall (that you could NOT see because it is DARK) then back out 1.5 miles.... And survived... Yes, I feel accomplished. Yes, I feel like a freight train ran over me. Yes, I thought I was going to have a heart attack climbing back up to the car.!! haha!!

But, after all of that... I am so glad that I went. It added one more "first" to the list of firsts that I have been able to do with my sister! Which is awesome! She has decided to staff at Mountain TOP next summer.. I am so proud of her for that decision.. I hope she holds to it. I have been asked to consider being a member of the Board of Directors for Mtn TOP, which would be cool. Especially since I am undecided how much longer, if at all, I am going back as a camper. I LOVE the ministry that mountain top is. I love that part of the country. I love the people that are involved in it. I am just not sure where being on the board will fit into my life for the next two years. I will think and pray about it!

So.... back to the grind. My next big adventure is to find a new job... I am pretty sure I will not be staying in Jackson past Sept 20. I would LOVE to go to NOLA for an assignment. We will see. I am talking to about 10 different agencies that are "looking" for me a job that fits my location and pay requirements!! We will see!!

Hot Dog, Buns & T

My baby brother starts his very first day of his very last day in high school...I am flooded with thoughts thinking about it.. I think about my first day of senior year............what kind of shit Kris and I had gotten into the night before...because if I am not mistaken we were living in my parents front yard in a camper...haha!! We had air and electricity, but it was our first stint of FREEDOM! From what I can remember, we had to leave our humble abode because the plain little outdoor wall socket couldn't carry the campers voltage and there could have been some smoke involved.. haahahahaha!

I think about Kim's first day of Senior year... they all met at Shoney's or Waffle house for breakfast... They have always been a close clan....How excited she was and how she was ruling the school!!

Now, baby brother... He is so different... He rules the school just with a silent toughness... Everyone likes him, but he is not looking for popularity, he is what he is.... I love that about him. He does not have to study, look over it the night before and keep on going... (he got that from me!). He has NO idea what he wants to do with his life other than play baseball. For right now, that is fine.

This is going to be a LIFE CHANGING year for the Fall family.

The sweet, precious, expensive, generous, kind, peace-making Chef is moving from home. That is going to be traumatic.. especially for dad. She is his favorite. It is so obvious. I have to say that it does hurt to know that he is capable of having a "daddy's little girl" and I didn't get it. He was too young then, not his fault.

The baby boy, golden child, T-Daddy... is starting the beginning to his departure. I cannot imagine the tears I will shed over the next year. I am only so blessed that I can be here for it!

I am SO proud of both of them. That is where the tears come from. I don't cry because they are "leaving" or "moving on". I am just so damn proud of them. They are awesome kids! I not only get to be the big sister to them, but in the past 3 years... I have been so lucky as to call them some of my BEST friends. How lucky can you be???

With all this being said...... all of this places me in a spot in life that I kinda knew would come, but just never thought it really would????? I have always said, to everyone, that I would start "my" life once the kids graduated high school... SHIT!!! Here it is.... WOW! So much of everything I have done for the past 10 years has revolved around the kids and wanting to be around for all of the important things. I have essentially put my life on hold to be a large part of theirs. Regret it? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Feel incredibly lucky that I have had a guy for 7 years who has supported it?? YES!!!! Jay has put his things on hold so that I could be here for the kids. Now, he says that, "even if we broke up today, I would stay to see Tyler graduated!!". He understands how much I Love them and how much they mean to me. Gives me butterflies!

And he is such a big part of their lives as well. I don't know how many times Kim or Tyler have gone to him for advice or questions... He and Tyler have hung out alot this summer (summer lovin'....hahaha)... And kim is his favorite because she feels that she is no one's favorite... Bless Her!!!

So... summing all of this up.......

I am ONE BLESSED GIRL full of and surrounded by LOVE!!!

Oh - the title of this blog: All nicknames my dad gave us as kids.. funny that we make a picnic huh??? I was Hot Dog, Kim is Buns and Tyler is "T"!!!

Peeewwwww...Neeeee....

So.. This weekend.. I was off. For whatever reason I was just sickly all weekend... I feel better today, but majority of the weekend was spent on one of 3 of the couches. It was that weird in and out of sleep kind of thing.. I don't know.. I had some of my horrible sneezing fits that just turned into BLAH!!!

But I am up and feeling a little bit better now. Hopefully in time to go back to work tomorrow!! YaY!!! I hate being sickly like that.. Not sick enough to just sleep all the time, just sick enough to feel bad enough to not want to do anything. It took all I had to just get Prince Poopy Pants outside...

But, I am here and going to make it! The weekend was productive for most of the Falls I think.. Mom, Ty & Kim got everything to Oxford and placed in Kim's apartment... Dad went deep sea fishing....

so.. we will see what this week holds!

Prince Poopy Pants

I have never thought I was a "dog" person, because I am such a CAT person.. I love dogs, but never really thought I would ever have one. I, however, cannot remember a time in my life when I did not have a furry feline!

But.... I LOVE THIS DOG.... (and his dad!!)

His name is Harvey. Jay was on his way home from Baton Rouge one Saturday and stopped at PetSmart to pick up cat litter and the Southern Pine Animal Shelter had animals there for adoption.. well, Jay knew that I would probably KILL him if he came home with a dog (and he had wanted a dog for over 5 years at that time)..so, he came home... He started talking about "this" puppy that was there that looked so pitiful and was just lying there, not all excited or acting all crazy.. just lying there, sleeping. And his words to me were, "That was my dog.". So, we called PetSmart, told them to hold that dog and we were on our way..

Fortunately, that dog still likes to just lie there and sleep! With our crazy work schedules that fits in just perfect with us! And he IS Jay's dog..He is the perfect dog for us.. And we have had him since April 2007! He gets to go to the spa every week (just for a bath and mani/pedi). He is SO very smart (when he so chooses). And he LOVES his Mama! And his Mama LOVES him! My heart aches to think about life without him, so I try to pretend that day will never come.

I have always been a cat fan, still am. But, I LOVE our dog... He makes my heart smile!

but... the title of this blog is Prince Poopy Pants... Harvey has recently started to potty (#1 and #2) on the kitchen floor.. even when he has just gone out... I realize that this is probably him acting out and I would love to consult the Dog Whisperer about it.. But, that is not going to happen in the near future.. Any advice???

July 30th!!!

Happy 32nd Anniversary to Mom and Dad!!

Love you!!!











Happy 2.....th Birthday to My Friend, Michelle!!
I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU!!!

JUST SHUT UP!!!

There is a certain beauty to silence.

There is a time and place for silence.

There is a need for silence.....

Some people don't understand that.. period... they just don't.

Can you name the voice of a person, that just the very sound of that voice makes every hair on your neck stand straight up and make you want to KILL THEM???? I can name about 4 or 5 of those voices right NOW!!! Oh my God... It is crazy....

That makes me think... about the people that you work with.. There are some that don't bother you at all.. you are in rhythm with them, you sense when they need quiet, or even better you, sense when they need to talk and just don't say it. You workplace is like a family.. There are people that you definitely could NOT do without (PARtricia) and there are people that you just quite click with and wish they would move!!! haha!!! But it takes ALL of you to get through the work day (or night!!)...

But that does not change the fact that I could really hurt some of them, tonight. I guess it makes getting off of work all the better! My hotel room (in which I do NOT have to pay for air conditioning in, therefore will run it on HIGH COOL on level 10!!), the unusually nice sheets and wonderful pillows (for a Comfort Inn).. and watching Lifetime reruns of the Nanny and falling asleep before the 1st Golden Girls episode goes off (with my 50mg of Benadryl on board!!)... Then waking up to Standing Still or Reba on Lifetime.. yeah. Pretty boring, but how perfect it is for me!!!!

So. I will go. I am not going to hurt anyone. Luckily, I have a friend here and we keep each other in check RIIIGHT before we lunge towards anyone!! Plus, I need the check....

Closing....

Closing... I will be attending Mountain T.O.P. closing circle with my sister August 8-10. We have never gone to the closing circle before, but heard it is really good. She asked a few other people to go with her before she asked me (needed me) to go with her and I cannot say no, though I have no real desire to go. I cannot say no because it is "closing" for her too. Yep. She is closing this Jones County Chapter of her life. She is moving her things into her apartment in Oxford this weekend, then moving to Oxford 3rd week of August.

I am so proud of her and so happy/excited/scared/nervous for her all at the same time. She has many more social outlets than I did when I went, so she will be ok. But, it's a tough place. It is going to be tough lessons for her to learn. I wish I could pave a road of ease and comfort in front of her feet, but that road is going to have to be bumpy. I know that.

She and I have really gotten closer this year. I am SO happy I went to France with her. That is an experience that we will always be able to look back and say, "Remember that Spring Break before you went to Ole Miss, we went to France...". OH the stories to tell! And just having her come lounge on the couch with me and watch Reba reruns.... I will miss that. She has been incredibly helpful at my house since I started travel nursing as well.

So, yes... I will be attending closing with her. I know that this closing is real. I will gladly go on this last little trip before she "really" grows up. One down...One to go. It is going to be a really hard year, this year. It really makes me look at my life and where I will be this time next year... Maybe, just maybe, I will be getting ready to go to Mountain T.O.P. closing.....again......

I love you, Sister....

"It's not our first date... I don't have to be nervous with you.. Now I am just scared to death!!" - My Jay...

So.. 7 years... we contemplated New Orleans for dinner.. some Cafe Maspero.. but with all the rain and stuff decided on the new restaurant in Hattiesburg, Stoney's. Don't know why..have not heard anything about it... just something different and they have fondue... All I can say is clear out about 3 hours of your night for this place. Bless their hearts they have only been open six nights and obviously Friday night was alot busier than anticipated because they were out of alot of stuff... but I am glad to say that I had a GREAT time... We were able to just sit and talk about whatever... for 2 1/2 hours, while occasionally getting some food! It was really nice. With our schedules being opposite of each other alot of the time, we don't get to talk like we used to (daily debriefing...). There is only so much you can do via phone.

But we had a really good night and then did our Books A Million wandering!! (and I got a few gifts, too!!!!) So all in all.....an AWESOME night!!!

WoW!!

So... busy night at work.... I truly enjoy what I do. It is being part of a miracle. I sometimes take for granted the miracle that it is because I get tainted with all of the BS patients we get. Then you get the one that is so sweet and things go unexpectedly... and unexpectedly well... And you realize that you ARE doing what you are supposed to do! I feel that way tonight!

So, I honestly wish for all of you that you get that feeling from what you do (something that you do....) at some point in your life!

Now... I need some SLEEP!!!!

Me and my J

Like dogs chasing cars........what would I do if I caught one????

So....... Batman - The Dark Knight..... WOW!!!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Joker.. No, it is not some poor Heath Ledger pity pouring out of me.. Poor guy.. He accidentally died just trying to get a few zzzz's.... I can relate to that! I LOVE the Joker. I loved the Jack Nicholson as the Joker. It is just the character.. He is so out there.. The mental illness is all over the place and he embraces it! I LOVE IT!!

Heath played the part remarkably well. Props to him. I hate that ... nevermind... some of you may not have seen the movie.. But, I will say.... The PENCIL TRICK!! Never saw it a'comin! Yeah, the movie was 2.5 hours long, but I could have watched longer... Kinda the same feeling I had with Sex and the City.. The theaters are still full. If you get tickets, plan on getting there 30 minutes early if you want a descent seat!!

But, I went to see it with my J after we went and ate Sushi!! I love Ginger salads and I have come up with the perfect amount and mix of rolls..... One Rock-n-Roll and one Boston Roll, NO roe and Rice paper ONLY! That is my perfect mix! Although Jay's Neruto roll was really good. It has a cucumber wrapping! It was a mouthful, but very good!!! Then we piddled. I love our piddling. We go to different stores but end up in the same store assisting each other with purchasing decisions!

And we did it all in the Jeep without the lid! Jay doesn't think that I LOVE the Jeep without the lid, but I do. I love to feel the freedom and the wind. It is the PERFECT summer vehicle! I was so excited that he left it at the beach and took my car to work while we were there.. I told him it would be best because my car gets better gas mileage...hahahaah.... atta girl!!! But, we had the best time in the Jeep down there! Well, until the ride home.... Who ever thought that the sun would keep up with you at 75mph...??? Surely not..... My legs told a different story and so did poor Jay's face.. he is such a white boy!!! But, I can say... He gave it a GREAT effort to be a beach bum this year! So proud of him!

Well, I am back off to work for Tues/Wed/Thurs nights.. back home on Friday morning! Tyler has gone to Panama City with Morgan and her family. Kim will be holding the fort down here with my zoo. Jay and I will be off together this weekend WOW!!!!! July 26th... 7 years.... Me and my J. Unbelievable.. We have grown so much together and separately. How he loves me amazes me! I am a very lucky girl. I know this...... Maybe I should tell him more often... Will definitely work on that!!

Ok...Keep it real!

Serving Jesus; Serving Self.......

Mountain T.O.P. 2008

Wow!! What a great trip! In this pic you can see me behind the guy bent over, nailing my little heart out!! I am NAIL QUEEN!!! Just ask my people! We built a porch with steps in two days! That is right....Kick-Ass... And in the process got to meet a really great family who lives in a house that they HAND MADE with Tennessee rough wood and they have no electricity. sad story. But she was able to cook us lunch on the second day.

I love going to the Mountain with the group of people I go with. We all have the same mission: "Go have fun, hanging out, playing games with each other, mix and mingle with the youth from other churches and GO OUT AND SERVE JESUS! However it is you need to serve him.. Just go do it! And we do it. AND we LOVE it!!! It thrills my heart to go on this trip and watch some snooty little girly girls go and become WORKERS.....with ticks and chiggers and poison ivy and all sorts of weird stuff! I become so proud at these moments when "my" kids are out there mingling with the staff and other youths and adults... My kids are amazing! They make my week the best! I LOVE THEM!!







Just when you think that God couldn't hand you anymore, he blesses you.... with a week at the beach with your favorite people!!!!! (including your boyfriend that you have not seen in 3 weeks!!!) Oh how we Falls LOVE the beach... Which I guess that is not the whole truth! We love being in a Condo on a high floor where we can look out at the ocean, hear the waves and maybe catch glimpses of the dolphins in the early hours. That is my very favorite memory of my dad and I. He would always be the first up and sit on the balcony drinking a cup of coffee. If he saw any dolphins he would come get me and we shared that together. Typing that made me cry. It may be one of the only good sweet memories I have with him. If you know of any others, please remind me of them!




After 9am... it is on. Towels are placed as to save lounge chairs, tops are popped and the smell of Hawaiin Tropic sunscreen/oil is all you smell! The day has started! There is some beach play....throwing the football around and stuff... but we aren't all about the jelly fish and sand!!! And Our crowd is not the norm.....We would never just take family....we could possibly kill each other! Mom and Dad, Kim & friend (Jesse this year), Tyler & friend (Fox, 2nd year), Me and my J and Morgan (tyler's girlfriend who comes down midweek with mom and dad!!!)

We have the best time!I can't even begin to go into it.......But we did it up right this year!! And I am SO thankful for being able to spend this time with my family (blood and extended) on BOTH trips! I am blessed. I am lucky. I have an incredible family, my brother and sister are so far beyond my being to explain what they mean to me. I just hope they know...I know that I would never be able to get it out without hysterically sobbing. I thank God every day for them. My J...there are no words for me to explain how much he means to me and how wonderful he is to me and how VERY much I LOVE HIM! "He hasn't asked me to marry him, but he hasn't asked me not to either!!!!".....I am his!!!! He knows this!!

So I hope you have been able to serve Jesus and serve yourself this summer. There is a certain amount of balance I get by doing the two during corresponding weeks!! haha!!!

So. Tell me what you think about my so called life.

New Year's Eve and I am recovering....

Yeah, most people recover on New Years Day...Not me. I developed the flu/sinus infection/dystemper/CRUD on Tuesday (the day after Christmas). I did not leave my couch until Thursday afternoon. I moved around a little THINKING I felt better...got up Friday morning showered, washed my hair...ready to go eat Mexican with My J, Kris and the red head. Half way through lunch I realized that I had prematurely gotten off of my couch. It hit all over again. I brought myself straight home and stayed on the couch until today. I cannot be on the couch any longer. My J caught it, sufferred through it with the help of some whiskey, honey and peppermint! It was rough! Now I feel better but unable to sleep due to the unproductive HACKING cough that I have ALL NIGHT LONG! But tomorrow is a new day....and a NEW YEAR. Thank God!

Christmas has come & gone...OH and I turned 30....

Well, Christmas has come and gone, yet again. My worries at Christmas exist on many levels. I have to worry that my parents will or will not like what the kids and I get them. They aren't the kind of people who pretend.....well, maybe not so much that they don't like what we get them, but what they get "each other" (which is stuff we usually pick out). It is complicated... but this year it went pretty well. Also, I worry that Kim or Ty will get more than the other and someone's feelings will be hurt. Which hurts me terribly. Then there is myself. I don't need anything, therefore they have trouble trying to figure out what to get me and end up getting me something that I don't need or want and I have to find somewhere to put it. But this year was good!! Not much of that useless stuff!

On a different note.... I turned 30 on December 21. I spent that day on a church bus with 9 youth and 3 other adults on our way home from Gatlinburg. Yes, I planned the trip and I knew it was my Birthday, but...... Well, let me start by saying I think Birthdays are special. I try to make people feel really special on the day that they were born. It may be something little like me putting a candle in a Pepperidge Farm Milano cookie for my J or using window paint to write all over Kims vehicle or just the fact that I send birthday cards to all sorts of people that I have met along my life journey. I DO NOT do these things with the intentions of getting something back. I don't. But I guess somewhere in the back of my thick skulled head I do have that expectation.

We unloaded at the church on a rainy evening and I came home. I may have even been a little excited thinking "I wonder what they did. Posters, balloons, I wonder what?". I get home, alone. Unload my bags and drag them to the door. I leave them on the carport and come in to an EMPTY, BLANK house. Well, my cats were here but you never know what they were saying.... "Happy Meow Birthday!" or "Where the Hell have you Meow been bitch Meow Meow Grrrrr?". So, I will go with the first for my mental health sake! But, nothing. Not a cake, cookie, balloon, card, poster....nothing. I TURNED 30!!! The excuse was, "We thought you'd be too tired to do anything tonight......."... TOO FREAKIN' TIRED TO FEEL SPECIAL???? How many people do you know that are ever "too tired" to feel special or have a fuss made over them??? Not many!!! My sister did come by on her way to go out to eat with her friends ( on my Birthday) and dropped off my gift, which was really sweet. Needless to say.... I unpacked everything, because I am OCD like that and turned on my shower to let it warm the room, then got into the shower and sat there with the water raining down on me as I cried. I haven't cried like that in a while. Maybe since my Granny died. It was painful, deep......it felt good to let it out. Then the guilt set in. How selfish am I to be crying because nobody did anything. I stayed in the shower for about an hour (until the HOT water was gone).

As I was getting out of the shower I hear people standing outside my bathroom door. My mother and brother were here. How long had they been here? Had they heard me? I don't know, but my eyes would not hide the amount of crying I had done. She asked me to tell her what I was crying for and I did not want to. She would take it personally and I did not want her to feel bad for my selfishness. But she kept on and I told her, then cried more..... It was horrible. We looked at Gatlinburg pics then they left. Alone again. Then My J came over and brought gifts! He did very good with those!!! But he knew something was wrong and there it was again. I cried told him about it and felt bad for making these people that I love feel bad for not doing anything for my birthday. Which thinking back on it....maybe they should feel bad...

So, we watched tv, then he went home and I went to bed and cried some more.. No one sang happy birthday to me on my birthday. No cake. No candles. I turned 30.